Zion Rufus’ Diary Of A Lagos Girl “Sweet But Psycho, Tasty Poison 3″

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“I want you to change,” Timmy said calmly.

“From what to what?” I asked. I was irritated and angry. Did he come back just to judge the woman I had gone through hell to become? He has no right. Left for ten years only to come back and become a Judge Judy.

After I heard the girls conversing, I ran to my class in tears. My crush was leaving and he hadn’t told me a thing. I was pained. I thought we were close enough. He had played the part of a big brother well… perhaps he only saw me as a kid; A little girl that simply needed his help. But, I was already developing teenage emotions. Sadly.

Back to my class that day, I tore out a two-page sheet from my notebook and began to write. In my letter, I expressed my gratitude for how good he had been to me. Detailing every scenario, penning every experience, happy moments and times he sternly corrected me whenever I did a math equation wrongly.

I paused and wondered if the next statement in my head was worth being written. Should I? Should I not?. I argued with my demons for minutes before making a decision. “… I really like you, senior Timmy and I know I will miss you so much. Remember to always call me and keep me in your heart no matter where you go…”

“Becca don’t be stiff! You’ve always been so stubborn!” He raised his voice, jolting me back to reality.

“I’m not stiff Timmy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t turn out the way you wanted. I don’t even know what it was you wanted. You barely kept in touch after you left, so you can’t just waltz back into my life and act like Mr Perfect.”

“You know that’s not what I’m doing, and I’d never do that…..” His phone rang. He picked it up and dropped it again. Leaving the call unanswered. The phone continued to ring and he deliberately ignored it.

“Why don’t you want to take your calls?” I asked.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened to you” He snapped.

I picked a slice of pizza and cut it in half. There was nothing to tell. I just didn’t want any man. At least not one that left for ten years. Well, he didn’t ‘leave’, he had only gone to study and stayed back to further his practice. But now he was a stranger to me. And if anything, we were going to have to start all over.

I picked my phone and texted Lex. Luckily, she was online.

Me: Babe, how’s your date going?
Lex: Great. He is really fun to be with.
Me: I wish I could say the same
Lex: Lol. I told you to ease into it already. Timmy seems nice, you shouldn’t have a hard time.
Me: Aren’t they all nice? Until they stop being nice…

Timmy grabbed my phone.

“Can I have my phone back please?” I frowned.
“No you can’t, and you won’t until you tell me what is wrong with you” He pointed firmly.
“Oh. Ok” I sighed. “Timmy there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. I just don’t see myself having a relationship right now.” I explained.

He burst out laughing. I was surprised.
“Relationship? Becca I’m not asking you to date me or anything! Come on don’t be naive!” His phone rang again. He picked up the phone and answered quietly “Can I call you back? Yea I’m in the middle of something. Ok. Thanks.” He placed the phone back on the table.
“You know I’ve always looked out for you…” He continued. “….I only want to see you do well in life and become a better person. I’m rooting for you Becca, you’ve got potential. Use it well.”

With that he stood up, picking his phone and car keys. “Let’s go. Let me take you back home”.

I was moved to tears. Confused and bitter. I pulled my pride together and stood up. It’s going to be a really long evening.
He handed back my phone and held the door. I slid into the car.

Getting home, Ruthie was outside the house. She dismissed her visitor when she saw Timmy’s car drive in.
“Ruth thanks for earlier,” Timmy said, smiling as he stepped out of the car. “Thanks for the pizza” I slammed the car door and turned to leave.
“Come back here!” He yelled. I stood still. Hiding my pain. Ruthie sensed it and held my hand. He only saw me like that ‘kid’. Nothing more. Not affectionately like I wanted or hoped for or even presumed. In his eyes, I was still that school girl that needed his help.

Well, that was going to end. Today.

“I’m not that kid anymore, Timmy. I’d live my life the way I see fit. You can go home. You can go back to your sweet life. You can even go back to Ukraine. I wish you well. But respect the woman I am, or you stay the hell away from me.”

I pulled Ruthie and we went inside.

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